Sometimes, having everything in common can be “too much of a good thing,” Kimia Mansoor, a matchmaker at Tawkify, tells Bustle. “If you have a deep, ingrained desire to have a family of your own, it’s a mistake to think this is something that will go away in your mind or heart,” Sophy Singer, a matchmaker at Tawkify tells Bustle. “Do not assume you can change your partner’s mind over time — especially if they clearly stated children are a no-go.” And the same is true if you’ve never really wanted kids, but your partner is all about it. Are you someone who needs to be five minutes early, while your partner is someone who consistently runs an hour late?

If they also express an interest in you via Secret Crush, Facebook will match you up. Her is a dating and social network app designed with lesbian, bisexual and queer users in mind. You sign up with Facebook or Instagram accounts, and then view a stream of activity from other verified Her users both in your area and globally. You can Like photos of other users, and if the interest is mutual, the app will link you up to chat. Like Tinder, Match also added a safety feature that lets you alert friends if you’re on a date and feel unsafe. You can even set your political views in Match, so you can better find a person whose outlook lines up with yours (or don’t, if you believe that opposites attract).

“As a matchmaker, I hear about this ending numerous relationships,” Susan Trombetti, a matchmaker and CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking, tells Bustle. “People tend to think the other person is self-centered.” Even if this isn’t an issue that directly causes a relationship to end, it can contribute to it. Chances are, this could be a source of numerous fights and arguments. According to Bergstein, this is key if you want to be truly happy, as it plays into listening skills and how you handle arguments. If you aren’t on the same page, you’ll likely struggle to understand each other. If one person likes being out and about, while the other likes staying in, Bergstein says it’s highly unlikely that a relationship will be successful.

What I’m looking for in both is shared values and shared world views. If your behavior with your opposite-sex friend is being perceived by your partner as a threat to your intimate bond, then accept it for being exactly that. The intimate bond you have with your partner is being created between the two of you. If this bond is meaningful and worthwhile to you, then you must protect it. Sometimes protecting your relationship means giving up some of your own personal freedom or choice so that you build something that is greater than the sum of its parts.

Here are some statements that might just change the way you think about the importance of sharing common interests, according to 15 men on Reddit. To the outside eye, my boyfriend and I don’t really share any common interests. He is a super geeky guy with a passion for stuff like Dungeons and Dragons and going to conventions. I’m a sarcastic introvert and barely reformed cool kid who can’t help but raise their eyebrows at a grown man dressed up as an elf in a public setting.

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That doesn’t mean settling so much as it means figuring out what really matters to you in a relationship. In most cases, the answer usually isn’t whether your partner makes a six-figure salary or has a master’s degree. This can cause a problem especially if someone comments on your picture, “Who’s that old man in the photo with you” or “ Is that your uncle? ” This is something that happened to me and it’s very deflating.

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As clinical psychologist Dr. Helen Odessky previously told Bustle, “Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand what other people are saying and how what they are saying is impacting them emotionally. Being able to read and accurately perceive how someone is feeling, and being able to act on that knowledge in a pro-social way, is emotional intelligence.” When dating someone different than you, you might literally face some of your fears. “They may gently encourage you to confront your fears, try going with them, and you may be surprised to find that going into the ocean with them is a lot less scary and more fun than you had ever imagined.” “Dating someone who is our opposite opens us to new ideas, experiences, and people,” Elisa Robyn, PhD, a life coach with a PhD in educational psychology, tells Bustle. “We move from our typical and comfortable circle into a new world. Our mind expands and often we challenge our opinions and beliefs. This is much like traveling to new places.” You really can learn a lot.

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Paid options offer the ability to “Say Hi” to other profiles, which includes a notification, as well as the ability to see profiles which have liked you. Bumble added video a couple years ago, giving one of the best dating apps a leg up in the shelter-in-place era. A Night In addition added games starting with a trivia game to give you and your date something to do on your video chat. The two work around their differences by opting for Netflix instead of going out to movies or staying in to cook breakfast instead of going on $100 brunch dates.

For this reason, while relying on shared interests may be a great way to meet someone and get to know them better, I would caution against making them a precondition of a relationship (or a deal-breaker that prevents one). Ideally, you should find someone who appreciates your interests and indulges them when possible, or at least tolerates them in good humor. Of course, this should go both ways, and learning to appreciate a new partner’s interests may even expose you to new activities and experiences that you will come to enjoy (even if not always as much as your partner does!).

If you’ve been dating a couple of months but haven’t met a few of the major players in your date’s personal life, it’s safe to assume that you’re being brushed off. Having things in common with your partner can be really fun — but having too much in common would just be downright boring. Differences are important, but they can also be points of friction when your partner doesn’t understand your love for your activities and interests. Maybe they can’t quite wrap their head around your obsession with makeup, or maybe you don’t share their love for travel. No matter what differences you two have in terms of interests, Dr. Venessa Perry, founder of, has four tips to help you navigate them.

Many people think that having shared interests means you’ve found your soulmate, she says. But if you’re exactly the same, you may have a hard time moving forward in life. It’s all about balance, and finding someone who makes up for your deficits, and vice versa. It’s totally possible to date someone who doesn’t share your religion, especially if you and your partner aren’t super religious.

There is no age difference in whether someone reports that a date has touched them in a way that made them uncomfortable. We favor apps that reach a wider range of users — the wider the dating pool, the better chances at finding someone who’s a good match — and that let you sample at least some of the service at no cost. We also rate services more highly if they offer multiple tools for meeting new people and if they have security measures in place to report fake accounts and bad actors. Happn is all about the people whose paths you might have crossed who you might find interesting and might also be doing the same things you are. A location-based dating service, Happn shows you the profiles of other Happn users you’ve crossed paths with, along with time and location. You can like any of the profiles that show up, and if the feeling is mutual, the app gives you the option to connect.

Plus, choosing a person who shares your interests and enjoys the same hobbies as you do is one sure way of ensuring that you are with someone you will have an enjoyable and fulfilling relationship for a long time. Click here to discover how to make any girl or woman feel a very strong sexual desire for you and fall head-over-heels in love with you in the shortest possible time. Even if you can’t meet in person, the internet is full of great bonding opportunities to enjoy. Having fun while socializing takes interactions to the next level. Develop or pick up new creative hobbies for adults that can improve happiness, like gardening or photography.

It might seem as if this difference could be a bad thing, or lead to a lot of misunderstandings. And yet, bringing such drastically different traits into the relationship can actually be a good thing. I believe that differences in interests can cause serious relationship problems. Many couples I have treated see nothing wrong with each partner having different interests. If a couple is unable to tolerate the time and money a partner puts into a hobby, it can become a source of conflict.

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